I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
