i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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