No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
