I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
