Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
