He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
