apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
