one two three fourrrrnication!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
