when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
