? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
