If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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