Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
