Christians are straight up FREAKS
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
