Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
