stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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