i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
