Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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