I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
