i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
