they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
