My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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