Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
