You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
