Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
