she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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