Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
