Just fell off a train. Bad.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
