sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
