i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
