Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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