At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I won't apologize to a one balled man
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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