So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
