OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
are you so shy because you have an std?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
