My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm experimenting with sincerity
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
