I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
