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so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
