I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
