i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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