Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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