I hate your face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
