Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
