weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
