did you get engaged???
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
