He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
