I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
