he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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