He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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