He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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