Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...

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(703): View more from Virginia

As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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(503): View more from Oregon

There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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(971): View more from Oregon

eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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(614): View more from Ohio

just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend

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(305): View more from Florida

I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.

(1-305): View more from Florida

You just killed the sext mood.

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