why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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