Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
