Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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