so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
well most of my day revolves around power hour
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
