3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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