Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
