Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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