Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
