very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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