New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
