get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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