I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
