wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
