hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
