Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
