I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
